I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
