Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
