Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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