I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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