is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
You pole danced in your parka.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
