If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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