i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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