I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
