there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I stole a fireplace last night.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
