i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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