i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
