Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
