I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
