Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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