There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Terrible idea I love it
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize