i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Someone signed my nipple.
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