you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Randomize
