i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I think your dad took our porno
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
