We won't sleep together?
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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