You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
