WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
as a side note pls kill me
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
