I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize