im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
