Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
