RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize
