Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i think i have two assholes
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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