Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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