I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
