Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize