he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Randomize
