Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
