ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
