Apparently you make a good broom.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
