I will die if light touches me.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
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