Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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