Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Is Oprah even human
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
