it was like his penis was on wheels.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
