She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
