you guys were way drunker than both of me
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
