How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
well you can't waste a boner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Randomize