I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
