walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
