yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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