p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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