I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
