i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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