I'm so fucking centered right now
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
sex in a hospital.. check
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
