how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
