Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
