What a fucking waste of an outfit
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
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