I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
