i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Randomize
