Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
