I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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