i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
i think i just lost a toe
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Randomize
