you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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