Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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