He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize