discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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