ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Randomize
