maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
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