Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Couch. On fire.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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