If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
