I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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