Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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