The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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