Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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